Love's Holy Grail (2016)

So this is permanence, love’s holy grail.

A lifetime of memories outlasting

your vinyl collection of b-sides

and musical notes, crumbled up scribbles

of inspiration lining the pockets of the tightly

fit blue jeans that used to drive me wild,

only to be discovered in the impersonal

confines of the cold, solidary bedroom

of the life I willfully married into.

The complexities of your personality

prevented both piles of clothes

and the love I sought to accumulate 

on the floor, as you always thrived

for perfection in every aspect of your

young life. I suppose we both knew

it would only be a matter of time before

your compassion got the better of us.

Love would indeed eventually tear us

to shreds, but love would also bring me

closer to you in the years since you made

the decision to lighten your burden.

You would always reinsure me

that the explosions were never my fault,

but the shrapnel accompanies the truth

in the writing of every line you wrote.

For twenty-three years, you perfected

the awkward rhythm of the dance,

but your influence would outlive the shambling

you committed on the stage of the shady

dive bars we frequent. In the spotlight, you retreated

further into the epileptic abyss where

I knew you would live out your days until

the transmission faded away with the dawn.